my dad’s hands: stories
(inspiration: Lorna Crozier)

1.my dad’s hands pushed him under
                         belittled his expectations              trapped, he wanted more

2.his hands were potential distressed
                         violence, creativity, anger, humour     striking out blind

3.my father’s hands cradled 
                         an infant or beer bottle                same care and love

4.my father’s hands brought
                         home kitchen glow bacon
                              should have been enough            it wasn’t

5.his hands were the wounded muzzle 
                         loaded cannon, fuse lit                 shrapnel filled the house

6.my father’s hands shone
                         at times unexpected                     became soft, upturned 

7.my father’s hands were working hands
                         always colours under nails
                  paint tattoos                                  guardians of cold destiny

8.i learned early his hands 
                         were raw wood
                  rubbed across my face                          felt like bleeding

9.my father’s hands knew 
                         right and wrong
                  took justice in calloused palms                hard won impotency

10.my father’s hands clasped together
                         glued by disappointment 
                  deadened intellect in locked fingers

11.my father’s fingers were thick
                         yellow from smoking
                  unfiltered cigarettes he rolled                and coughed phlegm after

12.his hands weren’t hold 
                         your hand hands
                  i didn’t miss it                               family taboo

13.my father’s hands spoke
                         hot tar, mostly one syllable     no translation needed

14.his hands weren’t artistic
                         in 6 rehab months
                  he painted peeling bark, dying birch trees
                         that hung framed in the kitchen

15.my dad’s hands were his life
                  his denied life

© Terry McDermott